Ok, you meet a girl. You like each other. You connect. You let her know you like her, etc. You might kiss her, you might not. But you’ve made your intention clear – you want to sleep with her (whether you’ve conveyed interest in a long or short term relationship isn’t that relevant for my theory) just that you have given her a SOI
You make plans to meet up. You even gets some texts going back and forth, etc.
She flakes, you never see her again.
Sound familiar? It does to me, because it’s happened a fuck load of times in the last month.
Yea, I know what you’re thinking
“Not enough comfort/rapport buddy! you didn’t get a solid enough connection!”
perhaps in some cases
“you didn’t qualify properly!”
Err, sometimes... but sometimes I do it all right and they still flake on a day 2...
I know when I have a connection with a girl, when a girl is into me. We all feel it sometimes, and it is a great feeling. And when all those ingredients are present, the connection, the bonding the attraction... they still flake out on a day 2. And it's like "WHAT THE HELLLL!!!" Why does this happen?? ?
LAST MINUTE DATE RESISTANCE
We all know about LMR – Well it’s essentially the same thing, except you haven’t gotten the girl into bed yet. If a girl is feeling attraction to you and you’ve made your intention clear with an SOI …. You’re a man. She’s a woman. You’ve made it clear that you are interested in her. Most women are not fools, she knows very well that by meeting up with you up she is saying “yes” to the possibility of sex. It’s not a big deal to us, but for women it is. Think about all the reasons a woman would be nervous about a day 2.
- She may have a Boyfriend (or is already dating someone and feels guilty)
she’s not sure she really likes you
- maybe she was caught up in the moment
she's scared it may lead to sex
she's scared it may not lead to sex
she's not sure if she wants to be in a relationship
- maybe she wants a relationship and is scared you won’t want one
she's scared if she doesn't sleep with you will be upset
she's scared if she does sleep with you she'll be upset
maybe she's worried the sex won't be good
- maybe she’s worried the sex will be good and/or she’ll be hooked
she's worried you won't see her again if you do fuck her
- maybe she’s had some bad experiences with ex bf’s (most girls have) and doesn’t want to risk getting hurt again (there is a gammant of sub reasons here)
- she’s worried about getting knocked up and you’ll run away (primary reason for LMR)
she doesn’t want to waste time on another relationship that will lead “nowhere” … it didn’t lead to anything with all her previous boyfriends, why are you any different??
- maybe her friends won’t like you
- maybe your friends won’t like her
- maybe your family won’t like her
- maybe her family won’t like you
AND ON AND ON AND ON – we could come up with dozens of logical reasons (and there are probably dozens more non logical/emotional ones)
So – if my theory is right, it’s the SOI that is destroying my chances of getting all these amazing girls out on day 2’s
What’s the counter to it?
Stop giving SOI’s, unless you can sleep with the girl on the night.
Pretty simple huh?
Not I’m not saying we should stop getting girls in bed on the same night. Far from it – I love direct, I love Shock and Awe and have had some amazing results (makeouts on the street and on the tube!) and am planning on using it more and more in the field. Whoever, what I’m saying is, in certain situations, where you don’t think you can seal the deal on the night, it is better not to give a SOI in order to drastically increase your chances of a day 2. Say she’s with her friends for a birthday for example. Do you really think she's going to ditch them to fuck you? Well, if you're game is uber tight, it's possible. Probably not, however. Or, it could be a logistical issue. Or Simply if you get the impression that she simply isn’t that type of girl. Many women aren’t. If that is the case, don't you want to maximize the chances you will see her again?
So, basically it goes likes this.
Meet girl. Open girl. Have fun. Connect. Build comfort. Get rapport. If there’s a natural attraction that’s great. Don’t make a big deal over her looks….don’t drool over her or tell her she’s fucking gorgeous. Don’t tell her you want her. Be a fun, sociable, amazing guy. *vibe vibe vibe*
How about:
“Hey, you’re an awesome girl. I have decided to add you to me social circle of whacky/original/amazing people. What’s your number – we’z got to chill!!” (time bridge to whatever)
Get the number.
No Major physical compliments. No smooching. No groping. No SEXUAL kino normal friendly kino is cool as that is part of rapport building and should happen naturally
She’s not going to flake. Sure in the back of her mind she’ll be thinking “I like this guy, I wonder if he likes me, maybe something will happen, etc”
But I suspect the fact that you haven’t given an SOI will in itself force her to meet up with you. You’re this awesome social guy, she’s this hot girl and you haven’t even hit on her. What the fuck? She has to see you again. She has to validate herself …. Plus she’ll want to see you because a guy who doesn’t hit on a girl as hot as her MUST be high value. IT will act like a dual magnet … sucking her into that day 2. She’ll be texting/chasing YOU.
I’ve only done this with a few of girls in the last couple of days and it seems to be working. I’ve just been my normal self, but without showing a sexual interest in the girl…. I’ve been SEXUAL, sure, but just not hit on the girl directly (or if I did, in a jokey way…) not complimented their looks….. just fun/funny/cool interesting guy who is getting to know this awesome girl. Here’s the kicker, a couple of girls in the last few days have number closed ME using this strategy. 2 of them had boyfriends… and they’re coming out to one of my gigs to check me out – and bringing their mates! …. What will happen from there I don’t know, but they are VERY hot girls with BF’s and they’ve gotten my # and then texted me!! Yipes!!
I’ll know in a week for sure but I have a funny feeling I’m onto something here.
Thoughts appreciated! Better yet, field testers appreciated. Go out there and don’t hit on girls!! (Yep, it’s pretty nutty, reading that sentence back .... on a seduction blog! I know!!)
Sasha
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