Monday, 31 March 2008

good sex and "girl game!"

fuck the shit out of the bartender last night. whooooooo

it was great. the PC excersises must be working because i almost came so many times but was in full control. wow! just fucking and fucking and fucking!! i think it must have been like an hour of sex

wake up 5am, fuck some more...

then slept till 2pm! yay!

weird thing happened though, i ran into her at this club i went to on monday. i didn't even want to go out but jeans joe, a german pua who was staying with us wanted to go out and i thought i would show him a good time. he comes up to me and says "i think your FB is here!" and i said "yea i though i saw her earlier!!"


there were hot girls everywhere as well! fuuuuuuuck!!!!

well i though i'd just be discreet and shit

turns out my FB was being very friendly with joe, getting him to dance with her, taking pics with him, and even got him a drink! oh, she kept moving him around the club and then saying "wait here!" then coming back.... now i didn't see any of this, he told me after

i saw her chatting with her at one point, and he looked like he was gaming her. i'm like "are you gaming my girl?"and he's like "she's gaming me!"

she denies buying him a drink...she said she was just being "friendly"

it seemed she was being over friendly - was she trying to instigate a "jealousy plotline?"

when i asked her she was doing all these canned lines "i don't like him, i like you"

" i just want you" etc etc

i've only met up with her 3 times! did she setup him talking to her, so i'd see it, so i'd get jealous, etc etc so she could escalate the relationship!?

this is some weird/needy shit ... i know she likes me but it's waaaaaaaaay to early for any of that!

i'm freezing her out for a week, then we'll see what happens....

Friday, 28 March 2008

Finger in the ass! Yes Please!

So my korean FB is on her back, and i'm fucking her mouth, right? her head slighly up off the pillow... i'm fingering her at the same time. then she starts putting her finger around/into my ass

oh my!

that's good shit!! i've had a bit of anal play before but not that much. woooooo EEEE !!!

i still managed not to blow. just. i was planning on not fucking her because i'm planning on banging the bartender really good but i got very excited, slipped on this one random condom i had and had a short session (maybe 10 mins)... had an internal orgasm but had to stop. i hate that. went limp like i had ejaculated but i hadn't! maybe i ejaculated internally, hopefully not...

for a straight guy i really do like having shit up my ass


Thursday, 27 March 2008

uh oh

I met a girl who actuall made me laugh today

almost never happens. oh, she was hot too...

i'm sure nothing will come of it, but it IS worth noting....

Monday, 24 March 2008

LR - hired gun!

Yes, I’ve now had sex with the bartender. yaaay! shitty yucky condom sex. I don’t like it. I ate her out a couple of times. She loves that!!

she's very ticklish!!

i had her in hysterics in bed. i didn't fuck her well but i think the funny carried me. hehe

Sunday, 23 March 2008

naked girls, and yet no sex. WTF!!

It’s been a crazy few fucking days

In the last 5 days I’ve had 3 girls in my bed, and, amazingly, I hadn’t fucked any of them. WHAT!!

Yea yea, tell me about it

Picked up this fucking gorgeous 20 year old on the street in hoxton like 5 days ago… We meet up, we get along well. I get her back… this girl has the tightest body I’ve ever seen or laid my hands on. She’s TINY with like the absolutely tighest – it’s the definition of tight. Not fat, nothing. Just BAM! Unreal. She was actually shy about her body. I was like “I am going to show you what I think of your body” and I threw her on the bed and just went to TOWN on her abs. if you don’t know about me, I have an ab fetish. I just fucking love a nice little stomach. Even if a chick doesn’t have much of a rack, hey, if she has a tight little body otherwise I can see past that…. So … I was working my way to do one of my massages .. but around 10 she looked at the time and had to run off to meet her mate. I was meant to see her 2 days after (2 days ago) but she calls up all crying about her ex and how it’s really over, blah blah her only real love) and she’s in bad shape and it wouldn’t be fair to me, she really likes me, blah blah. I did the nice thing and said “yea I like you too and I understand, give me a call if you want to hang out”

Part of me thinks I should have said “bitch, come over and I’ll make you completely forget about him – you know I will” … or “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else) hehe but I didn’t … just sent her a sweet text wishing her well so we’ll see what happens.

I think this is a perfect example of my new rule being “if you can’t fuck them on the night, don’t escalate” .. because I’ve gotten fresh with her and not closed the deal, now she may feel weird meeting up because she knows I’m likely to try sleep with her, which she’s not “ready for” … however had I just chatted and had fun and not done anything, it would have been easy to meet up and then get her into bed. No matter

So, the bartender from (major London club) comes to meet me. As soon as she gets out of the tube I kiss her neck, she giggles. I say “ok we can go into the warm pub for a drink or we can just go to mine – it’s also warm. Plus I have cards and a laptop!” she says “cool” so we go back. I play some tunes and we listen to some mitch hedburg which she likes. I molest her while she talks to her mom on the phone (hilarious!!)

I put my hand on her and she says “I’m nervous!”

I say “why! I not gonna hurt you…” (tony Montana accent)

“because we’re going to do this!”

well we got pretty naked. Man this one has a fucking amazing body as well. Like, skin so soft, great belly, perky little boobs. I taught to give me head the way I like. She’s a fast learner

she’s on her period and doesn’t let me take her panties off. I try and try and she hold’s her frame! She’s all “it’s gross! Stay away!”

I’m like “bitch I’m goin to lick your clit. Relax!!” .. EVENTUALLy she says “ok but I wanred you”

So I go to town. I haven’t seen my chiro in a while and my jaw was coming out of place, it was a bit painfull and makin clickin sounds. As one point I laughed, because I had one hand on her tight stomach, kina pulling the clit up a bit as well (probably just psychological) … then, my left hand was actually pushing the left jaw bone in to stop it from hurting. It was like out of a comedy film. She told me she’s never had an orgasm from oral before. Well I got her pretty close. She’s start shaking and everytime she’d start laughing… I’m like “what’s so funny bitch!” and she’s like “I’ve never felt that before!!” so eventually she said “I can’t take it anymore!!” and I stopped. Man it was puddles around and shit. Yea after she left, then I was supposed to see the other super body girl, when she cancelled. Then I got a text from the Japanese girl I’m dating. She’s finally better and wants to see me soon. We say maybe on Sunday

I had gotten a text from a text on Friday from the denmark girl to hang out that night, I was like “you crazy I’m booked up 3 days in a row!!” but then I texted her on sat when the other girl cancelled so I saw her. I could tell in her eyes she wanted me. She’s pretty good looking, ok body but as skinny as I want. Bit boring. I figure I’ll try get her back just for the practice really. She says “sure, but not today” … she hasn’t been laid in a month and even then just be her ex in denmark. I figure she needs a good seeing to. I made her pay for the food cuz she’d flaked on me before and she didn’t object. Yay. I dunno if I’ll bother seeing her again even though she is DTF at this point. Good kisser though and nice big soft lips. And nice boobs as well….bah

Then later than night the Japanese girl texts (Actually during the date) that she may call me later. I call her and she says she still out with friend but she’ll call me later. She calls later and in her cute way asks, withouth asking … to come over. She’s like “I’m in west end…so…uh…” I say “so you want to come over and say hi?” and she says “yea!” … I think ok this is it. Finally I’m going to lay this hot Japanese girl. This has got to be it right? well we watch some SP, and then when it’s bed time, I start taking her sweater off and she stops with the dress and says “you have to promise not to make me naked, or I’ll leave and not see you again!!” … WOW!! A SEX DESTROYER LINE!! NICE!!

What the fuck do you say to that? (I’d used my massage escalation to get her naked and fingered her the time before)


So I let her sleep. She texts me the next day thanking me for keeping my promise. I’ve yet to reply. This girl is impossible. I have to get into her pants, I’ve seen her like 4 times!!! This is unheard of!! This is stupid. Really stupid… or then again maybe I’m used to getting girls naked quick because of PUA and when I meet one that proceeds at a “normal” pace it seems way too slow? PUA has fucked up my “lay expectations” I suppose. Ah well… maybe next time if I don’t lay her I’ll just do a freeze out… just say “I like you and I need sex. If you don’t give me sex, I can’t see you again!” no that seems wrong. That’s completely fucked.

Hey – she's here!! i'm definately getting some right NOW!!

that was a lot of shit.

I have to start writing blogs every day. There’s too much to remember. Fuck it.

Thursday, 20 March 2008

Stripper game, baby!! 2 #'s and 1 facebook!!

Spearmint rhino – Stripper game!!

Ok, met dunners, earl grey, gameboy, and their mate to hit up spearmint rhino’s. Bouncer was like “where did you hear it’s free for a month?” and I’m like “uh, we just heard from our mate” and he’s like “where did you hear, exactly?” … so gameboy goes for his phone so call someone to ask. I start making friendly with the bouncer. I was offering to give him a hand massage. I hugged him in the end and he was like “it’s fine guys, but the phone down…

The chick on the door was hot. I tell her “sweetie, you’re just setting us up for disappointment looking so hot before we go down there”

She says “the girls are hotter down there” … I say “we’ll see.. I’ll be back for you ;) “

In retrospect she was hotter than any of the girls down there, and I forgot to go back for her L

Anyways, we go in. I don’t even bother with water, although we go to the bar with intention of getting some. We chode crystal for a moment around the bar. Yay. I let a fart rip and we move away from it. One of the bouncers/employees gives us a bollocking for it “did one of you guys fart?” and I’m like “one of us did but we’re never tell who” and he’s like “this is a classy joint, lads”


Anywyas, afer than I’m like “fuck this guys let’s do some stripper game!!”

I just start opening/getting opened. It’s great actually, you can stand around and they come up to you! Get into a long chat with this one dancer (HB8.5) who was pretty chill. He friend asked me if I wanted a dance, I just made fun of her “omg!! are u always so forward – don’t you want to get to know me first??” and she floated off. The cool one didn’t even TRY offer me one. I just talked to her about what she used to to before, how she got into it. Just normal stuff, with me being my usual self. Eventually I told her she was like awesome and lots of the chicks were fucked up and not cool and she was like “yea I’m one of the cool ones, hehe!” … so… I told her she has to come party with me and bring out all her sexy friends and she was like “fuck yea” so I got her facebook… have adder just now

Next one, Russian girl. She tries to get me for a lapdance. I just re-frame and take the piss. “you’re so demanding!! God are you like that with your boyfriend?? HEY!! TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF. GET ON THE BED. PUT IT IN MY BUM-BUM … that’s not sexy, babe.

After that she didn’t mention the lapdance again. We have a nice long chat while sitting down. I though we were in rapport and out of her hustle mode – then the waitress comes round and asks if I want to get her a drink (HOLD THE FRAME!!)

“I think we’re ok for the next 5 mins, we’ll see later”

Keep chatting. Ah, she speaks Russian. So I’m gaming her in Russian. Eventually she’s qualifying herself to me and shit. I tell her she should come party with me, I can hook her up to get into some nice clubs and shit. Was making her laugh a lot… she’s like “you have to take my number!! we’re gonna be friends!!” so I memorise it. (can’t be seen getting it) she says “text me – I’ll check my phone to make sure I gave u the right number!!” … few minutes later the waitress came around again for drinks and the Russian just waved her away.. muahah ;)

She came back to me later and was chatting – I got the vibe she was ready to come home with me. She asked me wherabouts I live, just after I asked her how late she stays awake. I got a close look and her face was just a 7 maybe, body pretty good. I didn’t really want to fuck her bad enough to ditch the guys so I let it go. She texted me a little while after we left the club confirming she’s gotten the text J

Ok there were a bunch of other girls that went nowhere. Some were annoying and constantly asking “do you want a lapdance?” .. this one black girl … I opened her with “why are you shiny? Is that sweat or like a coat of something?” and she’s just reply “do you want a lapdance?” … I kept trying but she wasn’t having any of it. Her friends were in fucking hysterics at my antics and negs and shit. They weren’t hot unfortunately, not even remotely. One girl was really funny.. but just KEPT goin back to the lapdance. I tried to get her details to come out and she was like “yea I’ll come back to you” and she was off

Anywho, one girl Gameboy introduced me to was like kinda cute, and kinda chill, but not really that inresting either. She was interested in US though that’s for sure and wanted to come out with us. She kept coming back and talking to us. She told us her number ( I memorized half then gameboy the other half) and then put it together. Again she tried to check we had the right number… at the end of the night I was like “do you know what a spitoast is sweetie? I think you’d look good with an apple in your mouth and some celery behind your ears” and she was like “yea I know what it is” … “ever fantasized about being taken by two hot guys? Yea you have… what are you doing later” … she said “I like where this is going … I have to pay my boss the money” … she was INTO it !!!!! we didn’t see her at the end but we’ll try organize something maybe for another night. She was DTF. Seriously. DTF. Period.

Their mate kinda tried to come in too high energy when it was going well with the girl. He did a really try hard magic trick… the girl was like, “yea, ok” and then I just kept going. He really had no clue… Note to self/others: It may be a good idea to keep your non pua friends uninvolved when you are going gaming. Especially if it’s strippers and they don’t even know the game basics. Just a thought.

Dunners introduced me to this Japanese girl. I got her laughing and was like “I love Japanese girls!! You are coming out with me. What’s your number!?” she said she actually didn’t know as she just got a mobile .. I said ok, email me, here’s my website. Go write it down right now!! (she did actually go and do it) … I should have build more comfort then sent her off. She was, like, HB9.5 and the hottest girl in the place by a fucking landslide. SICK SICK SICK.

If this girl emails me, and I hook up with her, she is hot enough to get me out of game. That’s how hot we’re talking about guys. UNREAL!

Let’s hope I don’t hear from her, huh? I don’t think I will, I only spoke to her for 5 mins but you never know.

One girl was just pushing the lapdances and kino’ing so I used one of my lines I came up with a few weeks ago during my 30 day challenge

“Oh my god!! You are SO HORNY!! You need to sort yourself out, hehe!! Ooh I love that line. Great stuff.

At one point one drunk young guy in a suit was all over us …. I was just being friendly joking around with him ….

Dunners quote of the day “Easy, your willie is pressed up against my knee” .. no it was funnier than that. Someone post the actual quote, I was in hysterics.

Anyways we leave, hit the streets. I see a set that looked good, sent in dunners, earl grey’s face lights up “can I wing!” … “go on son!!” they are gone a while, I send gameboy to open another…. I come in to wing. One chich has MASSIVE boobs, other one I quite fancy. Chat a bit, they’re drunk. Do my normal banter shit, group hug. I do my boyfriend routine, my target is single! Get the number… she gets her makeup thingie to write it on my arm. I say “put it on my forehead, with your name” so I’m walking around with her number and name with black on my forhead AND the lipstick from the strippers. Hehehe. good peackock, but, not really intentionally (well, ok, the # on the forhead I though would be cool, hehe)

Ok, I smacker her on the mouth a bit with my lips. Ooh she’s a cuuuutie!!!

We go get some pizza. A certain someone orders 2 beers, doesn’t drink them and leaves…. Another PUA who we ran into who was really drunk, had some food, ate it, and then fucked off without paying. What a dick. If you’re reading this, yea, you knuckhead. Stop drinking if it makes you an asshole. This is really a strong argument against the booze/game combination. Come on. Seriously. Come on.

Anyways, yea. So, 2 # and 1 facebook closes in the strip joint and 2 numbers before/after.

Uhh so final thoughts on stripper game

It’s not that hard, it’s all about frame.

Their frame = getting you to buy lapdances

Our frame = getting their number or back to ours to fuck

You just have to hold the line. Don’t say no to the lapdance, just keep going. Ask them shit. Qualify them. Tell them a story. Whatever. Just keep deflecting. The best strategy was just not to even HEAR the lapdance questions. It’s not even in my reality. Just keep going. Sometimes they’ll blow you out, and that’ fine. Some will hook. Some sets hooked so well I actually said “listen, you should get out there and make some money out of these suckers. You can’t just stand around entertaining me all night!” and even THEN they’d hand around longer. Silly girls… couple of times I was actually shooing them away

Anyways, I’d recommend stripper game to any PUA – but you better have a strong fucking frame or you’ll cave. These chicks are professionals. They know how to hustle, be assertive, and push push push.

Stripper game is an EXCELLENT exercise for frame control. It is LITERALLY a FRAME WAR. A Battle of wills. It takes serious energy/will/effort just to HOLD the frame, cuz some of these chicks are HUSTLERS. And they will TWEAK your NIPPLES to throw you off your guard! (earl grey?) had his knob grabbed by one of them….

Talking about if after with Dunners I came up with an analogy we though was quite good, even though he was falling asleep on my couch, hehe

It’s like the movie 300, with the Spartans… you just have to keep saying to yourself


It doesn’t matter what they say, how hard they push, or what they do…


you get your nipples tweaked, your cock crabbed…


She says you’re an asshole and she’s going to get you thrown out of the club


Your mate next to you gets his arm cut off



It doesn’t matter what happens, you don’t cave. Ever. And we didn’t. None of us bough a drink, got a dance. Nothing. I spent 2 quid on the coatcheck, and I wish I’d have won her over to avoid that but I forgot to try for it!

The guys did well, they all held their ground, had lenghthy conversations with the girls and had IOI’s (genuine ones) from the girls. It IS a bit scary at first (STIPPERS WOO!) and I was intimidated years ago but now… shit, they’re just chicks in skimpy clothes asking for money. What’s the big?

Wednesday, 19 March 2008

March 18th

March 18th

I called the HB 9 french girl from the bus. Leave a hilarious message. She calls straight back. She don’t wanna use her cred and asks to call her back. I agree, but I wait a full minute before I call her back… fun/fun /rapport/date for tomorrow. Kewl.

Did I mention she’s fucking stunning? Oh my god. She really was. Get a text back from the 20 year old almost virgin. She tells me when she’s free to hang out. Sweet. I’m going to take her to a movie then back to mine and there’s going to be some serious nudity happning… anywho, at night…

I had a date with the 20 year old from hoxton. had food, got her over.

she's only had sex 2 times, with one guy. she's relegious and was saving herself for marriage. she's never enjoyed sex. she kept saying "i'm not going to sleep with you" and i was like "yea i know" .. i used the "i'm not going to try and fuck you tonight, but i will tease you" line. GOLD!! GOLD, JERRY!!

This girl had the most mOST amazin body ever ever ever. she was actually self cousious about it. I told her, i'm going to show you what i think about your body. i threw her on the bed, turned the lights off (put the small one on) and just went to town on her belly kissing and licking and biting. OH MY GOD. if you guys dont' know i have a massive stomach fetish. if i chick has a nice tummy THAT's IT. it's over. and this was the tightest little body possibly i have EVER seen. EVER!!! anyways when i got her back i was building comfort showing her pics on my laptop, funny stuff. but making out in between and stuff... she was moaning...

i was planning on doing my proper massage with oil/strip routine and escalating from there, but when she saw it was 10pm she had to go meet her friend.... boooooo

she kept saying "you're trouble" and "i'm not going to sleep with you" which mean, obviously "i'm going to fuck you"

i joked around that if sex hurt the first two times, it would REALLY hurt with me and that it probably wasn't a good idea... I even threw in "maybe we should just be friends... I don't want to break your vagina..."

god she's is SO CUTE!!

We go to Sports café. I still hate that place.

Weren’t that many targets. Got 2 facebooks that’s it. New move for the dance floor that’s good. “hey! you got some nice dance moves. I don’t have any. Can I just copy your moves?” and then MIRROR their dance moves. It’s funny!

Anyways it sucks right, so we leave

Yen doesn’t want to go to metra. Well none of us do, but there’s nowhere else and this guy says he’s going to get us in for free so we go in

Couple of cute girls but not that much going on. Dunners makes out with this one girl, gameboy wings him and they extract the girls (they will write separate FR on that)

For me, I just game the bartender who was pretty cute. Gameboy says “2 glasses of water please” … I lean in

“what he meant to say was, 2 glasses of water, and your undying love forever, please”


Was chatting with her while she was serving other customers but it’s annoying. I bust her “I cant believe you’re talking to all these guys right in front of me to make me jealous this early in our relationship. That’s well out of order!!

At one point she waves at me to come around. I say I’ll do it. She says go on there. So I start goin around but the barback won’t let me go in. I wander away, come back later and throw candy at her, she loves it. Later I ask if she has a pen she says no. I say “how do I leave you my # then?” she says “take my number” … I say let’s hang out after your work – she’s not sure when she’s done, I tell her I’ll text her, to let me know when she is done and she says ok

No other sets in the club, everyone else has left I was with. I decide it’s too chodey to wait around so I go home

4.15 am “hiii I just got outta work… Hope u had a good nite x”

I call her. She’s on her way home. I say “come over for tea!” she says she has to be up early. We chat around 10 mins, good chat. She’s fun. we make a date for thur afternoon. Kewl she gonna come to russel square. I’m going to just try bring her back…


Sunday, 16 March 2008

I'm farty

So i've been working out at the gym for a while now. I feel great, but I haven't been getting much bigger.... (although my original goal was to loose the belly fat/strengthen my back)

Anyways, turns out I haven't been eating enough/getting enough protein

So now i'm using protein powders and stuff, eating loads of protein bars, etc


I can't even bring a girl back to my house, it just reeks of farts

This has got to be the SICKEST irony

go to gym to get buff and attract more girls

but the powder i'm taking to help me get in shape to meet more girls makes stinky farts ... THAT REPELS GIRLS

I literally have to clenches my ass the whole time a girl is around. I'm scared to let a girl go down on me...

Can you imagine? Sitting around with my finger up my ass is hardly a "mood enhancer" ...

God is a fuckin comedian

Saturday, 15 March 2008

2 semi makeouts on the street

Very cute, petite 20 year old, on the street in Hoxton. Direct game. Made fun of her when she told me she'd given out her number to 2 guys. I'm like "you hoooo!!! I thought this was special!"

by the end she was like "ok you're #1"

i told her i don't want her number if she gives it out all the time. I said "if you contact me, I will get back to you"

she texted me 20 mints later

"I am so glad i can say that i have now semi-made out with a stranger at a bus stop in london-you are pretty damn cool"

Yea - she didn't wanna full make out in front of her friends... if they weren't there it would have been a hard core tonging session

Then, same thing, semi makeout with a cutie just accross the street. She liiiiiked me

Then this one drunkie was just taking too long puttin her number in my phone so i just walked off. She was being annoying

anyways, yea, i love the street. Am seeing the first one on tues (made plans on my 1st text back to her, didn't waste any time as I was super direct on the street)

Friday, 14 March 2008

Not just sex, but Ice cream...

yeah so, me and Gladiator are in Leicester square, uh, admiring the... scenery...

He says he wants ice cream, but returns from the Hagen store disappointed "you have to sit down and eat"

I go straight in all guns blazing

"so, you won't serve my friend ice cream? You know what, Ben and Jerry's taste better anyways. You know what I like about them even more than that? That they SELL ICE CREAM TO CUSTOMERS. You guys should look into that, it could really increase your profits margins"

anyways I TORE into them, just BAM BAM BAM (just stand up comedy mode) making fun of hagen - their store, their employees. i don't even remember, but me, the manager and gladiator were enjoying it. 2 employees were just staring....

then the manager tries to qualify herself. I punch her

manager "i can't believe you just punched me!"

I punch her again

Manager "Don't punch me again!"

I kick her!

Manager "What!!"

I kick her again

I say "listen, i can't believe you've treated us like this. this is unbelievable. I demand free ice cream or i'm going to tell everyone how crap you guys are

Then I lean outside and start yelling at the customers

"you guys aren't planning on getting ice cream, are you? I think you'll find you've come to the wrong place. Try Ben and Jerry's, it tastes better anyways..."

She asks us what flavor we want, we say coffee, she says how many scoops, i say one.... she goes off, then the other employee tells me i'm a bad man for being mean to her. I agree with him "yeah, i'm an asshole...."

She comes back and gives me and gladiator 2 scoops each. I tell her to kiss my cheeck. She does. I bid farewell and we wander back into the square.... The 2 employees were completely baffled and one of them quite literally had his mouth wide open .... he muttered "she can't...." as we walked off with our less that mediocre ice cream (yea, ben + Jerry's really is better)

I wonder what else I could get for free from girls? Maybe I could get some hookers to give me free sex. No, wait a minute.... hehehe Tongue

I love game, hehe Grin

Tuesday, 11 March 2008

Wow! Chi is REAL motherfuckers!!

Went to my korean FB's house last night. Her flatmate is into reikki. I tried doing it and for the first time, it worked. i mean, really worked!! My hand got all hot and shit, like, seriously. This was not in my imagination. She told me to imagine the energy coming from the sky, into my head down my spine and into my arms. I felt a tingle in the back of my head when I did it. She felt it, and after so did the Korean. She told me she actually felt my energy when I was on the bed and she was stretching on the floor. Koool!! Oh and she clipped my fucking toenails when I was waking up/groggy in the morning. I was too sleepy to fight her off. Then she put some kind of polish shit on it. it tickled, and it was a bit gay, but I was too incoherent to fight her off.

Toenail rape!!

Anyways, I was doing reikki on here in bed and shit... fuck... it was cool. I'd started doing the PC musle excersices from "the multi orgasmic man" .. i held in several orgasms. One, i really almost blew, it took ALL my control but i held it in! then i went back inside her and blew like right away, lol. But i HAD noticed a difference, after just doing the excersice 3 times. will try do more....

Anyways, next day My other mate who's into it came round and did it on me and i could really feel it. like FUCK. tingle all over. felt better after too.... i fell alseep during it. i was just breathing and i felt so fuckin relaxed. wooooo!! i'm going to be studying this more, practicing more.... it's cool!

people really have chi! you can manipulate it!! it's awwwwwwwwwwwesome!!!!!!!

shit i can't wait to actually move the chi from my sex organ up through my body ... will try it next time.... yeah !!

Monday, 10 March 2008

Wow, they're complimenting me on my game now, lol

Got some lunch with Yen today. After this one set (my standard stuff, she had aBF) she actually said

"That's the best chat up i've ever seen"

my reply

"Yea, i'm pretty good" ...hehe.. EGO BOOST!

she facebooked me as well... shit, she was acting DTF but had a BF... err.... facebook friend zone, hehe

Loads more girls adding me. I need a routine to use when i dont remember which one they were, lol. i'll come up with something...

Thursday, 6 March 2008

The Dr. Yen and Sasha Spitroast!!

ok this all happened over the weekend - i've been a very busy boy, and me and yen wanted to like post a think together. he came round today, but he'd fucked ANOTHER girl last night and didn't have the enery to do shit, so he said "just post your fucking version up and i'll put mine up later..." so here it is. now i have a shit memory so it's just best i could come up with. I'm sure there will be edits and probably discrepencies etc but like i said - it's all a bit blurry but here goes!!

note: As i'm posting this, photobucket have made some changes (added a new feature) and it's IMPOSSIBLE to resize photo's using their site. i don't have any photo editing software so i'm afriad it's going to be the full size images until either photobucket, or myself, get our shit together.

Wed - I go over to yen’s.He shows me his vids of him fucking all these bitches. The funny part was when he looks at the camera with his horny cummy face. It’s ackward to say the least. It completely cracked me up. Good stuff though – better than almost all the porn I’ve seen. Honestly. Really good stuff.

So we’re chillin and he’s says he’s going to cheapskates. We get some food beforehand but I’m not planning on going in there … I say I’ll do some gaming out side of the club but that’s it. He’s trying to get me to come in and I’m like “no! it’s shit! Fuck off!” and he’s like “come onnnn duuuuuude” and I’m like “nooo duuuuuuuude – let’s have some fun out here for a bit” …

So the bouncer is being a fucking complete retard. He’s like “you can’t stand there you’re blocking the way” and we’re like “there’s nobody here. Nobody. This is sidewalk. Public property, go away” and he just keeps going on and on. If I can ever invent a virus that just kills every bouncer on the spot I’d really do it. I wouldn’t even hesitate. 99.9% of them are complete fucking areseholes – it would be better for the world, even though some innocent ones would die. A wise man once said, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few Wink

Anyways some hottie passes and yen spots her “there’s one!”

I say “run, motherfucker!!”

We run up to her, one on each side. I can’t remember what the opener was, I think “hey, you’re pretty hot. You wanna come for a spitroast with me and my friend?”

Whatever it was, we were straight up telling her we want to spitroast her pretty early. We get to talking to her about whatever shit, after we get her to sit and I ask her if she’s good at massages. She said yea and I said “ I bet I’m better but let’s what you got” and she gives me a rub down. Eventually we swap and I’m massaging her and yen get’s in front of her and she’s massaging him. Then I stop being funny and let yen go into some serious qualification. He’s writing a details report on that so I won’t go into it – but, there was a lot of qualification. Like loads and loads!

We start walking with her the way she wants to go, but then yen said “walk us to our bustop” … we get there and we both know the plan it to abduct her. We kinda try once and she’s not having it. More and more buses come and we keep chatting. Eventually she wanders off. I said to him after “we were gonna just pick her up and put her on the bus!” and he said “yea, I forgot!” … he was just running his mouth telling stories and I think he did actually forget lol…. (such a blabbermouth!)

So more than once when we asker her about the spitroast she said “ok but not tonight” … and she was sober. I said to yen after she left “I think it may actually happen with her. I’d give it about 70% in our favor” and he says “yeah, eighty”

Ok so, we both text her fun stuff on the way home (yen had turned my “I promise not to call you more than 20 times a day) line on it’s head and said “we promise to stalk you and call you 20 times a day” and she replied and stuff…

We agree that we’re either both gonna roast her or nothing.

Friday -

We try 3 way call her but it doesn’t work. I actually go over there just so we can call her and convince her to come and meet us on Sunday for roast. For hours though we end up swapping dead numbers of hot chix with each other along with details about we’d fucked it up (back when we had weaker game) and details about the girls. He actually called a couple of my girls and one of the calls went great!! Like the chick was totally into it, LOVING it! I think he may actually meet up with her, hahaha

Another one kept asking him “is that alex? Come on, alex?” so I got the phone off him… she actually thought that was me before doing a funny voice. Hahaha. Ugh she’s boring, there’s confusion – I actually though he’d called ANOTHER girl from my list. I was like “huh what? Wait, who are you? (yen says “hang up!” so I say Oh sorry wrong number” and hung up. Got she was boring. Hot though. I can’t be bothered

Then I called one of his girls but it was voicemail, I left a message… no reply 

Oh another one he left a message for called him and they chatted but she was sad cuz her gran had died. Hehe. It was goin nowhere so he let her go. Amazing tho if your frame is strong and you’re having fun girls will talk to you even if you can’t tell them where you met them. We just kept turning it around on them “What? You don’t know who this is? You just give your number out to anybody? I bet if a homeless guy asked u for change you’d say “no but you can have my number … “

So, as a little fun goal we’re going to try and lay one of each other’s old # closes/flakes. Hahaha I know we’ll do it.

Yen “When I’m fucking her, I’m going to say “I got your number from Sasha! Hahaha”

Anyways eventually we call the girl, I chat with her first. Ten minutes, just get her talking and laughing. I ask her what she’s up to tonight. Now yen had said he had tickets to “anti christ” and that I should come. I was going to stay in, but hey, if it’s free tickets, I said what the hell. So as soon as she said she’s just going home I was like “hang on, talk to Yen” .. I put him on the phone to her, and 10 mins later he says “ok dude – she’s coming to the club with us, and then she’s coming over after. We’re gonna do the spitroast!!” I start panicking a bit. Like oh fuck. Shit. I dunno if I can do it!


“You’re not pussing out now you fuck! Hang on, what if she takes her clohes of and she’s fucking rank under there. Like she’s all scarred up and shit. Dude I won’t be able to get rid of her. I’m too nice. That’s going to be your job if it goes wrong!”

Sasha “Yea I’ll say to her “bitch, there’s been a mistake. Get the fuck out!” hah!

Yen “If she’s like not shaved, forget it dude, I won’t be able to do it”

Sasha “so call her and say “you better shave your pussy, motherfucker! Just tell her!”

Yen “alright”

Sasha “Uh, hang on. How shaved is your shit”

Yen “there’s nothing”

Sasha “I might have to touch up a little”

Yen “When’s the last time you cut your pubes off?”

Sasha “Off?”

Yen “Let me see your shit”

Sasha (shows pubes)


So on the phone with her, they agree that I’ll cut them down and they are going to wax me when she comes over (didn’t happen)

But I did cut my shit off. Wasn’t as itchy as I though it would be. Here’s a pic of the hair in the toilet.

Fuck you can’t even see the toilet water. Yen now has images of my cock on his phone, which he’s already shown to certain pua’s. that’s slightly disturbing. Even more so that they found pics of my hairy cock entertaining.

Right then.

Around the time I’m shaving my not so endangered (or, more like, endangered) rainforest, my curiosity prompts a discussion on boy/boy/girl etiquette

I’m like “uh dude, what if you come in her mouth? Then I can’t make out with her anymore. So you can't come in her mouth at all. Right? are you with me on this?? And, you can’t stick it in her ass. Certainly our ability to recieve blowjobs would be compromised if one of us were to stick it in her ass. so let's leave it out, son! So we have to make out right, then it’s vaginal sex right (we’re using condoms so that’s fairly sanitary) then head, without coming, and then if you fuck her in the ass, well I’m just done with it at that point. It was kind of along those lines but funnier… that bit doesn't carry over for some reason. but it was funny at the time.

Ok, so before she comes over I run down to the shop and I get some ingredients and come up. He’s shaving… I say “check it out!” while holding a big pineapple up. “I though we’d make her life a bit easier….”

Yen “huh? What”

“you know. For her. Cemen. Taste.”

Yen “ah, right”

Sasha “come on, that was good - me turning up with the pinapple. It's funny because it's a joke!"

Also, I cut off my yucky belly hair. She comes over and I get her to help picking out some clothes out of yen’s arsenal. None of his shit fits except this one pair of super thick biker boots. There was this one pair of super cool boots but… why cant’ he have bigger feet?? So I wore this old WW2 shnitzel boots. There was no heel on them, it was like walking on bare floor. “quit your moanin!” he yells at me. Fine fine. They backcomb my hair and hairspray it and I look like a nuclear bomb is going of on my head. Not had gone of, is going off

Here’s the pic:

I say it’s shit, and the woman agreess. (sorry buddy) .. She back combs the rest of my hair and then I look much much better. Awesome in fact! I’m going to do this with my hair all the time!!!

Yen takes around 2 fucking hours to get ready. They keep just mucking about. I’m like his mom “dude its 1am and we’re still here. What’s the point of showing up at 3am to the club??” and I actually shoo the woman away and follow her downstairs so he can get ready. Yen is such a blabbermouth! SHADAP!!

Anyways EVENTUALLY we get our asses to the club. We cab it. We get in. I see one girl with a hot bod, not great face. Then we get up there and I’m like uhhhh where are the hot chix? There were none. NONE. Like a couple of nice bodies but always ALWAYS on ugly motherfuckers. Shit!! Oh well. We only came out to really hang with her and build some confort before bringing her back. So we dance around. Yen had a drink or two. He’d lead her into the club by her hand and wave at me to take her hand… etc which I do. I realize we have to escalate things equally so I get more and more friendly with her throughout the night. At some point on the dance floor Yen asks “Have you snogged her yet?” and I say “no, have you?” and he said “yeah!! Do it!” so a couple mins later I make out with her.

There’s a sex show with 3 girls which wasn’t bad. They had hot bodies but .. you guessed they were UGLY. What the fuck?

We end up on the couch the 3 of us getting pretty friendly. All kissing/massaging/caressing (well, us two with her, not with each other. Yet Wink

Around 5am we get the fuck out, head back.

(EDIT - almost forgot this running gag)

In the taxi back from the club, Yen makes out with Hbspitroast. Then, she goes to kiss me, and just before our lips touch Yen says

"dude, this is my local cabbie" .... harumph!! hahaha we crack up!

Minutes later we're in the shop outside his house, about to get some yum yum's. He's making out with her. I go to make out with her. Yen says "dude, this is my local shop" ... harumph!! Angry

oh, here's a shot of us at the club with my awesome new haircut!!

We’re on the couch. Yen puts a Johnny depp movie sleepy hollow. I will never look at johnyy depp the same way again.

We start touchin her up and taking her clothes off, and she says “you guys can only have a certain amount of fun due due to … female issues…” which kinda is a relief. I don’t have to be fucking in front of yen! Yay! Anyways, we start playing with her boobs, teasing her. She says “hey I’m almost naked, how come you guys have your clothes on? It’s no fair!” … well we start to undress…. She goes for my cock but I’m not hard. I’m scared! So then she goes for Yen Jr. She starts blowing him like 2 feet from my face. I’m a little freaked out. I don’t wanna see his dick. I’m scared it will make me gay. I have to say, this is the closest I’ve been to a sexual act, or another guy’s dick since around 1999/2000 when I was in an “almost threesome” with Mystery.… soooo I’m kinda shitting myself. He’s getting blown harder and harder, then he’s kinda fingering her as well and he almost blows his load. Now he’s like RIGHT next to me and the first weird bit was looking at him with his cum face on. I actually had my hand in front of my face so I couldn’t see his eyes. Fortunately I’d already seen his come face because he’d shown me all the vids of him fucking his girlfriends. The other scary part was, what if he blows his load and hits me in the face. He’s a target shooter like me and I know this because yen is not one to keep his capabilities secret. We should have a shoot off, see who can knock over the most cans but that would be even gayer that what i'm about to recite.... anyways during his BJ i just kept making jokes and she had to stop blocking him over and over again cuz she was lauging too much. I was a total cock block. hahahah (well, vagina block?? Huh) hehehe .... the jokes were funny but i can't remember them. can you yen?? We were all cracking up but i have no idea what i'd said. ah well. "you better not come in my ear, fuckface!!" was one thing.

So he’s had his BJ sessionand guess what. Nothing is happening for me. Down there. Hmmmmmm

At some point he tried to hit me with his boner. I’m like “don’t do it dude! Don’t be crazy!!” he’s like swinging it around and shit. I'm blocking with the couch pillows... I felt fear. GENUINE FEAR! you know like when you're about to get into a fight, or you look down when you're on a cliff and you know you can die? the fight or flight reflex? I FELT THAT WITH HIM WAVING AROUND HIS COCK!! WTF?? eventually my defenses go down and HE WHACKS MY FOOT WITH HIS COCK!! EWWW AAAAAAAH YOU FUCKKKING FAAAG! GROOOOOOSSSSSS!!!!!! (Till this point, that is my gayest moment ever. man's penis on my foot. keep that in mind)

So anyways, back to me. I'm having penis stragefright! After 12 years in show business, I finally get stage fright. Hahahah! Can you imagine? I’ve been in front of 500 people telling jokes, but to get my knob out in front of one fellah and a hot babe who is rearing to go… sigh…. Yen says “let’s go up to the bed guys…”

At this point I think my shit ain’t gonna work. It’s late. I’m tired. I’ve given up on my cock. Life sucks. I hate myself. This was a stupid idea. Blah blah blah. I say to yen “you have fun, it’s not happening for me” and he said “don’t be stupid, come upstairs!”

For a moment I actually consider just going to sleep on the couch downstairs. It would just be ackward, a man without an erection watching 2 other people go at it. hahaha. funny that. Then I figure, I'll just go up for a cuddle, you know. Be social.

So I go up there, … she wants to make out and I’m like “ I can’t, you've had Yen cock in your mouth!” and she says “I drank some water!” I say “nevertheless, your cock has been in her mouth!!” … they tell me i'm just being stupid. I think ok, I'll kiss her a bit.... I make out, and then I look up, bewildered…. I smack my lips.... I look up at Yen. “Dude, I can taste you…..”


(remember that this is my gayest moment, up till this point in my life Wink

and once again it’s the Dr Yen sex show for a while. He fucks her in the mouth for some time and then seems to fall asleep.

I think alright. Now I can get some rest.

She turns to me. Uh oh.

She gives me a look. Uh oh.

She caresses me. Uh oh. Hang on… that feels good….

Wait what’s this. Sasha’s cock is up!! OH YEAAA!

Like literally withing 30 seconds of yen being asleep I was hard as a fucking rock!! She goes to down. NIiiiice!!! I just couldn’t do it in front of yenners!!

Yen wakes up. I get my hard on next to his face and I say “hey look who’s awake. I’m going to hit your face with my dick. Payback’s a BITCH, MOTHERFUCKER!!” and I move toward his head. He LEAPS out of bed and I chase him around the room. I’m swinging my shit around like a light saber. He’s actually got each of his hands on my shoulder holding me back as I’m swinging my erection around in front of him. Hahahah. It was hilarious. I should have chased him down the stairs hehe

We get back in bed and yen goes back to sleep. She goes back down on me… I got some anal play from her as well, which was really nice. … actually no it wasn’t anal play, she stuck her finger right up my ass and I came properly. Oops. Yep, I came in Yen’s bed! Hahaha. Well I was in his bed, I came in her mouth. Now, here’s where it gets interesting.

Yen woke up and they started at it again. He’s making out with her and I’m laughing… eventually I say to him “you know I blew in her mouth” and he said

“yea I’d noticed”


Now THAT’s officially the gayest thing I’ve ever seen. Before that, I'd just tasted eau de yen's precum. But hey, he made out with a girl after I blew in her mouth. I win. Sasha +1 heheh. Grin

Anyways they are not stopping and eventually I say “look I’m going to get some rest in the other room, you horny fucker!!”

I come to, 2.5 hours later and they are still at it! WTF!! Don’t you ever sleep??

“oh we were just starting up as you came in” … the lying fuck

I take some pics, including the famous “yen’s penis puppetry video” hahaha it’s so cute! (very fruity) …. i'll try embed it onto my blog if anyone is truly gay and thinks they can handle it.

Anyways we just hang out, and more head was given, and taken and around 5pm I have to roll out. Now, I'm sure Yen will be happy to fill in what happened after I'd left..... he was there so i'll leave it up to him... i'll only say that she'd come off her period sometime on sat, so you can imagine..... Yes, He'd had a whole day with her, and yes, he was very, very tired on sunday. hehe....

**edit almost forgot our running gag

Sunday, they come watch me do a bit of stand up. It was a black gig, and i was (as per usual) tearin the nigerians a new asshole. Yeh and HBspitroast thought I was going to get stabbed...but alas, I am a professional and had the situation well under control ... Wink

So... we go back to yen's to watch a movie. Yen was like a zombie. completely BEAT. I get her into the other room on the premise of a back rub. She was so bruised up and hurt from her time with Yen it was unreal. LIke, I could barely touch her. It felt like I had 2nd dibs on some used goods. Kinda dirty, actually. It's all good though, I just wanted to get to know her a bit better and cuddle....


around 5am we agree that it's become very itchy! So either we're allergic to each other or there are bedbugs in the bed! aack! We go and join Yen again in the his room. More activities. At one point I remember getting staring at yen's bum during a blowjob thinking "that's a bit of alright, actually" ... hhehe (no, that doesn't beat the uh.. you know...)

What am I forgetting? oh she was constantly trying to get us to make out and stuff. I tongued him a couple of times for comedy purposes but never for more than a brief moment. i think i'm ok with sticking my tongue in mens' mouths now, i don't really give a fuck. I did it again earlier today as I was going thru this post.... he asked me to... i went for the full makeout but he backed off. I guess at this point, i'm slighly more ok with it than he is.... hehe...

oh, he hit me in the arm with his dick at some other point, but after tasting each other's cemen well .... who cares?

So, i've gone from being scared to see another man's penis in a girls mouth, to not giving a toss, tonging dudes, and not really caring that much really if a erect cock gets near to me, or actually touches my foot/arm. it's not really that scary.

So much other funny shit happened, I really, really can't remember. But, Hopefully Yen will. If I remember any more good shit i'll just keep adding it on!

So - what can I say. It was really, really fun. Not the blowjob, or cumming part. It was the whole experience. Sharing a chick - but something else. It was like ... having sex, but with your friend. Not WITH your friend, but you know. Sharing the experience, with a friend. Joking around, while having your dick sucked. It was cool! I'd do it again. But, a proper spit roast. We still have to do double penetration (one man in one man in the other) ...