I've been doing lots of thinking recently. A recent chat with ace brought to forefront of my mind some things that I've been piecing together about “getting a girl”
I'm sure i'm mentioned some if not all of these things in previous posts - but as i've come to realize - often epiphanies come to you over time - not always in a sudden moment of clarity.
Basically pure direct game rarely works. As soon as a girl gets a wiff that you want to fuck her, it’s game over. We’re talking about most “real life” situations (aka daygame) – obviously nightclubs are an exception to this
I’ve actually had a friendship with this girl for a few weeks now and my interaction with her perfectly describes how one should go about getting a girl.
I’d met this girl as she was working in a shop. As soon as I entered the shop I was just having a laugh. I made an entrance, said something inappropriate and then said “ok I’ll come in again” … after a couple of minutes of joking around I just brought up some interesting conversational topics. I had a book on re-incarnation so we talked about that – her travels … how thaiwan was awesome and under rated. I actually hung out with her a while, maybe 15 or 20 minutes. I said stuff to her like “wow you are really interesting. I would love to carry on this conversation. We have to hang out!!” and she was like “yea totally!”
I didn’t hit on her – some light flirting but – not properly. I didn’t mention her looks. The reason for this was – I wasn’t attracted to her! I was genuinely interested in her because she was cool, fun, and interesting! I wanted to hang out with her again for those reasons!
Since that day we’ve hung out a few times and it’s been a blast. Tho I flirt with her relentlessly we are still just friends. She’s super into me. Here’s one text she send me the other day. (it’s pretty gay)
What a bright, beautiful & shiny day! Though not as bright, beautiful & shiny as u! J xoxox
And she often sends stuff like “hey hope you are having a great day. You rock! Xoxo”
I know that if I made a move, I could sleep with her.
Now – the reason she really likes me two fold.
1) we have good chemistry
2) I never weirded her out or made her think I wanted anything other than to be her friend
Now that she’s gotten to know me, she’s after me. I didn’t have to do anything – in fact all I did that was different from my other interactions with women is this: I didn’t hit on her and took a genuine interest in her long enough for her to get to know me.
The reason for this is, I’m just not that attracted to her.
Here’s something I’ve never admitted before. I find it difficult taking a genuine interest in girls who I think are super hot – even if they are interesting girls! I can’t focus on the conversation, Especially if it’s going well. Why? Because In the back of my mind I’m screaming “OH MY GOD! THIS IS GOING WELL! SHE LIKES ME! I THINK I COULD SLEEP WITH THIS GIRL!”
Deep down, I’m still in awe of her good looks. Deep down, I’m still treatint the woman as the prize.
So, inevitably they pick up on this… or I convey too much interest and I blow myself out. I’ll often get their number – but – when the girls think back to the interaction they’ll puzzle it together and realize I was just after one thing. And then … it’s game over.
That’s it! It explains why all those girls didn’t answer when I’d called: ignored my message, or texts. Girls that gave me ioi’s – laughed at my jokes. Girls that LIKED ME. But none of that really makes a difference, if they figure out what you’re “after.”
The solution: well, you can either act like you want to get to know them… or do what (to me) seems even more obvious
Get to a point where you take a genuine interest in people!
This is actually what I’ve sub consciously been doing over the last few weeks. Just being friendly and really talking to people. Seeing what makes them tick. And I’ve made a whole bunch of cool new friends!
The wacky tv software guy
The chef
The bouncer
Brazlian girl
The geeky girl
Maybe the portugeese girl
Maybe the dorkygeekyfunny girl (if she ever calls me back, lol)
They are all awesome people!
I find it absolutely ridiculous that after being fairly anti mystery method … that the underlying principles are, in fact – correct.
It IS better to show value, have the girl give you IOI’s before you give her IOI’s back because then she’s chasing you. It makes YOU the prize, not her. It HAS to be the way, or it doesn’t work anywhere near as often! As swinggcat would say “women are not attracted to men who are not the prize!”
I think the reason I was against MM was that I knew it made guys weird and that It was against the idea of using other people’s material. I was against “routines”
However – it made guys weird because they would use these “lines” and “routines” without understand the underlying foundations of why they worked. Suddenly, they’re having success with women. But – sleeping with women in itself is not true success. These guys would just have one night stands (or maybe a couple of dates) with these girls … but they saw these girls as the prize and this came thru in their words and actions. The girls would see this outer cocky/alpha shell was surrounding a flawed, insecure man and would leave them. This is why inner game is so important
Outer game without inner game cannot bring you true and viable success with women. It’s like having having the body of a sports car without an engine. Sure, it will get you the girl. But where are you doing to take her? What are you going to show her? As soon as she realizes it’s just an empty shell – she’s out of there!
Its better to have a solid engine on a buick than have a Ferrari exterior and no engine. It will take a little longer for her to be into you, sure. But once she sees that solid engine – the substance – she won’t care the exterior isn’t all shiny. She’ll be into you.
I find it highly ironic that’s it’s taken me … years to figure this out – especially as I was good friends with the creator of mystery at the time of it’s birth. But once again, this only goes to show that reading only gets to so far. Experience is the only true great educator…. In game anyways
It is a further irony that you are all, reading this right now. Hehe
What does this all mean? Well, for me – in addition to being less funny, it means I have to get PAST a girls looks. How do I do that? Maybe I should hire a group of super hot girls to just hang around me all the time? Then I’d grow immune to it?
Or wait – I could use this very revelation to make friends with a bunch of hot girls … but guess what! If I got to know them properly – they’d inevitably want to sleep with me as well – which would render the entire experiment useless! Ha!
Either way, it’s a win/win situation
My new goal: just make make friends with super hot girls. take an interest in them. Truly befriend them. Find their inner beauty. How ironic as well that to GET girls, we have to become like them and appreciate people’s inner beauty
(I’ve got a joke (and I’ve blogged about this before) where a girl says to me “you have to meet my friend, she’s BEAUTIFUL!!” … then u meet her and she’s like an overweight, ugly ass nice girl. i believe in that post I’d said “that’s the problem with girls – they just see people’s inner beauty!”
Well, that’s not their problem. That is their gift.
That is the way to truly achieve success with women
All the people in this world are filled with inner beauty. As a PUA – as a man - I choose to spend my time getting to know the inner beauty in girls that are externally beautiful. That is my preference. Just like, some guys like fat girls. Some guys like Chinese girls. I like hot girls. But, even this is becoming less important….I don’t think I’m quite enlightened enough to start dating really sweet, fascinating ugly girls ;) …. Not yet anyways
After writing this post, it is also becoming apparent to me the relevance, and power of social circle game. Hmm…
6 comments:
good post, i agree with all of this. the part about using routines to score one night stands but behind the facade is still the same insecure doosher....very true shit.
you are on the right track, these last couple blog posts have been spot on.
but that one russian girl you got on youtube who looks like natalie imbruglia was smokin. should investigate that further IMO.
skizzle
Hey Sasha. Lumiere and Ginger recommended your blog. Lumiere said it was the best Pick Up blog on the internet.
I like what I've read so far although having a space between paragraphs would be nice.
So true (on many levels). Your posts are getting better :D
Sine
great post...but did you really just figure out that the MM principles hold, even in natural, un-structured game. c'mon, i know you knew this already or you could have asked us ;) anyways, i absolutely share your view about routines, people need to understand the structure behind the words and be able to determine if that particular structure fits their personality or in other words: a guy who never writes an sms shouldn't use an sms routine...at all. the true character will always come through, no matter how good the layer of game is!
greetings from amsterdam
Satisfaction
Anonymous: fuck you. hehe. cheers for kind words... yes the russian was delicious, and such a sweet girl. i had to fight the temptation to piss off to russia and be with her.... but that would be weak!! if i loved her it's one thing - but after 2 days in a hotel room, that's just oneitus! :P but when i get back to europe i will pop into st. petersburg for a bit. not for her, for all the other girls. they are all smokin' !!
Bolo: Lumiere and ginger? who's that? Didn't I play gay chicken against one of them? heh - will try put spaces. but i write the blog in word and then paste it, which is why it's slightly fucked! (ooh i'm qualifying myself ugh)
Anonymous: fuck you. and thanks. glad u think the quality is nearing your standard ;)
Satisfaction: Well, tbh i suspected that MM worked - but I didn't want to admit it to myself because, i found routines and all that shit fucking creepy and fake etc. So i kinda just shut that stuff all out of my reality. But now, i don't think using any "Strategy" makes you a lesser pua or person. if it works, it works - as long as you don't become someone else, alter your belief system or become a fucking creepo - it's ok. i'm totally going to use false disqualiers if i think they will cut my flake rate, etc. To each their own....
also knowing something and using it to your advantage are 2 different things. someone can tell you a flaw in your game 200 times and you won't change until something CLICKS and you get it yourself - know what i mean?
so - i just got it. MM is awesome, in the right hands and adapted on an individual basis. if he's got inner game. i think only at THIS point, after all i've been thru can i start using MM and get some results. we'll see ... i'll never really go pure mm but i may take the best best and use them. who knows?
ps - i like your posts. Are they real? :P
i never go completely full mm at any point, i just remember the principles of attraction and the fact that most successful pick-up interactions have an opening, attraction, qualification, comfort and seduction moment. completely share your view that the best game is true vintage style and fully adapted to the person, unique so to say.
of course everything i write about on my blog, RSDN, VA or anywhere else is real and based on my personal experience but i don't write a report everytime i go out or get laid. by the way, check your gmail i got a non-blog related question, maybe you know the way to the answer
Satisfaction
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