Ah shit

Broke up with HbKarate today

Well I didn't exactly break up, I told her I wasn't willing to have a monogamous relationship. The clues were there. I wasn't a complete arsehole. She knew I was only around for the summer. I'd tried introducing some concepts to her earlier but she just wasn't buying it. Eventually I knew it would come to this, but I just avoided it. What was the point? I figured enjoy what time we had together and that's that.

First night she really freaked out. NExt day she was a bit more calm. We had a big hug and cry together. I guess I really like her. But what can I do? I couldn't go to Argentina without making it clear I wasn't going to stay monagamous. that would be shitty.

For a second she actually said "maybe i'm not open minded enough, i don't know" ... or something like that. for a moment she said something that suggested maybe we could still have something. tho initially she was like "i'm not the girl for you. i can'd do that" ... "Sex is sacred to me" and all that. Whenever I used a good argument she said "is that one of johnny's?" .... that's the risk of telling a girl about Johnny Soporno's stuff. haha.


So, I don't know what will happen. She called me on the way to the airport to let me know, essentially, that she wasn't shunning me. that she'd be there for me. that was good. that was the main point of what i was trying to put across for her - that i'd be there for her no matter what, and that my feelings for her hadn't changed. they haven't. she's great. i just can't make any commitments. that's all.

I hope to see her when I get back to tell her about all my upcoming crazy adventures.

Well... maybe lot about all of them. :P

I'm never going to let a girl think i'd be exclusive with her in any way ever again . i'm always going to set the frame early on that i'm polyamorous and that i don't want to be their boyfriend, ever.

I don't want to break anther heart ever again. Including my own.