Thur Jan 29th
Nothing much happened last few days. Had a minor personal crises but that’s been resolved. That girl on Monday DID flake – total flake. Didn’t answer the phone, or reply to my text. Nothing. I guess she knew what would happen if I went over there. Shame – I never even kissed her. Still, the strategy seemed logical at the time.
I’ve been having a revelation these last few days. I still, been having. Usually it just hits you all at once… you just GET it – even tho pieces wre adding up to that over a period of time.. mostly you have a change in your understanding – a paradime shift – all in one moment. This however was a real slow burn. Like, over weeks …
The revelation is this – and it will be quite shocking to those that know me and my style of game.
Indirect approaches may actually get you laid more.
WHAT?!?!
Yea that’s right. I said!
If you don’t know me, or don’t read my blog, I’ve been doin pretty much direct game for the last year straight. That mixed in with some situational stuff. But I’m not talking about my opener – my whole style is just direct. Even if I open a girl with “wow I love your shoes, they’re so cool” I’ll still be super flirty with her – and I’ll always mention how hot she is. Always.
But finally after a stupid amount of sets I’m starting to have some doubts.
It’s just a couple of things I’ve noticed happen, over and over again.
When you give a hot woman the validation she requires, that in many cases will be all that she requires. See what I mean? I’ve read bits and piece about this here and there but suddenly all these things I know are coming at me all at once I’m just seeing a pattern. Let me go deeper into this:
A woman’s frame is “I’m so hot. Everybody wants that”
If you don’t fall into that frame, you’re a challenge. You’re challenging her sense of reality. That’s unacceptable. So they’ll chase you. As soon as you give them what they want (validation) it’s over. Then you’re just another guy that wants to fuck them
That’s what I’ve been this whole time I’ve been gaming
Just another guy that wants to fuck them
Sure – I’m very funny and calibrated. I know when to say the right things, how to flirt, how to pump attraction. Hell, I’d say I can pump attraction as good as anyone. But – so what? They know exactly what I’m after and it’s just not appealing. Even though girls do just wanna “fuck” … they want to believe that you like them for them before the fuck. Of course it’s a self delusion based on spurious evidence. It doesn’t really make sense. I mean, either way they are goin to enjoy sex, right? So what difference does it make if someone really likes them for who they are? Makes more sense for them to go to bed with whoever they are the most attracted to? – but there’s the rub – for women, that IS attraction. It’s not about looks, size etc. It’s about what they feel inside. THAT’s the game. Making them FEEL something for you. However – making girls feel something that’s not REAL for you in order to sleep with them – well I find that morally despicable.
Wouldn’t anyone?
Maybe that’s the reason I never felt comfortable doing the bullshit cold reads and stuff on girls – it’s not really me. It’s not a realy connection. I don’t really know THEM. I actually rely on having chemistry with a girl … if there’s no chemistry I don’t force it. However – I often don’t get the chance to find out if there’s real chemistry because girls won’t meet up with me for a day 2 because they are quite sure I am simply interested in one thing.
Well it’s time for that to end, my friends.
Here are the pieces that lead to this:
Read somewhere about the validation thing (on my lair’s forum I think)
Listened to Sebastian Drake’s stalk month ago in London … he advocates talking to a girl for 20 minutes before decided on whether you want her phone number. This was so counter to … well everything I was doing. It made sense but I just didn’t do anything. It was like having an out of body experience listening to him. Awesome stuff but I ignored most of it.
Just watching the patterns with girls. So many times a girl is into me, and it just shuts off when I show too much interest.
Oh, and I read a bit of neil strauss’s new book with the 30 day stylelife challenge. He wrote in there he believes indirect works best overall and I know he’s got the experience so that had it’s effect on me as well.
God this is going to be hard to do this but I’m going to try…. Fuck.
I guess this is what game is all about – the journey. Trying shit out, seeing what works for you.
Savoy on how to get women
13 years ago
3 comments:
The problem with direct is that, if you go too direct, you leave no room for her to be drawn towards you.
That's the nature of how attraction works. Below is a post of mine from a while back which I have copied and pasted :
In this post I am going to try to explain my understanding of how attraction works.
This post is not about how to create attraction, just how attraction works.
Of course this is a topic that has been covered plenty of times and, if somebody else has posted something similar to this explanation in the past, and I just have not seen it, then sorry for the dupe.
Ok I am going to explain in a metaphysical way. There are not two entities involved in your interactions with a woman when it comes to attraction. It's not just you and her. There are three entities. You, her and the attraction zone which lies in between you.
Of course I am not talking about physical space here. The attraction zone is just metaphysical space and you just have to picture it in your head.
With most interactions women have with men, the woman never steps into the attraction zone that exists between her and the guy. If a guy is good looking a women might tip toe a little bit into the attraction zone but we all know that looks, by themselves, are not enough for 99% of women unless they are really superficial, horny and / or drunk.
Attraction has to be mutual to work. A common mistake most guys make is to walk right into the attraction zone, not just the beginning of it or the middle of it but right up to her borders with the attraction zone.
This gives the girl no space to do anything other than to stay neutral or to lean away.
This is common chode behaviour and if you have ever been in a relationship and you are always the one calling her or always chasing her or you are always IOIing her regardless of her behaviour then that is what you are doing.
Obviously if you were ever in a sexual relationship with her then you attracted her at some point in the past but stepping right up to her borders of the attraction zone leaves her no room to be drawn into that mutual metaphysical space between you.
Just look at any of the "how do I get my girlfriend back" posts you ever see and the root cause is always the same and the answer is always the same.
Step back from her borders of the attraction zone, re-attract her, make her earn your IOIs and your interest and attention and draw her back into the middle.
Drawing a women into the middle of the attraction zone and meeting her there is how attraction works.
Lumiere.
just bc you figured out indirect game dont mean you gotta quit the blog dude!!
are you having a midlife crisis or what!!
I would say that in the long run indirect is always the ebst way to go, but if you are looking for a same-night close you have to be direct - but as always, beware of the foolsmate.
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