big long fucking rant about shit whilst in russia

April 11^th 4.45pm (Moscow time)

So yesterday I met up with a couple of girls I’d met online. I didn’t really know what they would like like. First one was ok – I wasn’t attracted to her but he had fun anyways. We found this big thing that’s used to like block roads and we thought we’d put it to good use. We blocked a small road that connects to a main one. We totally fucked up an intersection for a bit. It was funn seein people turn into the road, see the block and then just back up, causing havoc on the main street and then just go another route. Hehehe.

Then we were gonna try a social experiement. We were gonna block a small street just to what people would do when they got to the end. The thing is I felt guilty so we didn’t do it. I’m pretty sure I know what the result would have been.

2^nd girl: was a minger! Ughh! I like how both these girls managed to find one picture that made them look attractive. The internet is a big fat liar! Light is a big fat liar!! Well we had a chat anyways and I got out of there. It was painful walking with her from the coffee place, to the metro. I passed about 4 or 5 smoking hot girls and I just couldn’t open in front of her. One girl with a really crazy jacket walked by and I almost shat myself. I said to her “I have to make a phone call, could take a while you go on without me!” … (we were gonna just take the same subway for a couple of stops) but it was just too painful. Of course after I got rid of her, no more hot girls till the subway. FUCK

The bar I went to last night wasn’t that great. I didn’t get a chance to go to all the “pickup bars” that are meant to be good. My friend had me come to this one bar. It was alright… I spoke to every hottie in the place. Had a couple of interesting chats, and one number but that was it. Most of the hotties had boyfriends. This one girl seemed to be into me but when I asked her had a BF. But later she was like “I was looking for you!” and I was like “really? Ok let’s get out of here!” but she didn’t go for it so I lost interest and went off. I couldn’t figure her out – she was hanging around me, then ditched me, then said she was looking for me. By then I didn’t care – but I think she went to just see what else was around and then came back to me? Maybe? She was pretty but chubbier than I like.

There were some really hot girls tho. They were getting hit on a LOT too. Not like in St. Petersburg. Like constantly guys were hitting on these girls, it was amazing. Mainly by the bar, much less on the dancefloor. The girl who’s number I got was retardedly hot. That’s the only way I can put it. Retardedly hot. 21 or 19 or something. She pretended she was French when I opened her in English. Then I started speaking to her in French but she had no idea what I was saying. Then I went into Russian and turns out she’s Russian. I’m like “yea, nice move. Try it on someone who doesn’t speak French and it might work” haha

That’s how much she gets hit on. She’s doing that “I don’t speak your language” play off the bat. God damn. It’s not a bitch shield – it’s a language shield. Anyways I jokes around with her and we’re (in theory) gonna get a coffee tomorrow. One girl was DTF – pretty face but too chubby! Another girl was DTF but proper ugly. She had a great personality and (here it comes) – an amazing body. When I say amazing, I mean holy shit. Just, perfectly proportioned. Tiny waist, perfectly flat stomach.. small but perfect tits. Like WOW. What is god DOING to me?? She just wanted cock so back it was painful. But she was like a 3. Like fucked up teeth, big nose. Just brutal. But she was cool – and she had game! The way she opened me and my friends was smoooooooothe. She kinda just started talking to all three of us – they tuned out, but I kept listening so she just focused on me and hooked me in.

It was so weird. Part of me wanted to fuck her. How can that be?? I don’t get it!! In a way I felt bad for her… she deserves to get laid. It’s not her fault she’s ugly. She’s a cool girl. And that body was smoooooooooking. I couldn’t bring myself to kiss her. I was thinking, shit if I just tell her I can’t kiss girls I don’t really know – just a thing I have I could just get her doggystyle and have a ball! It will be dark! I think one of my kind of mini sexual fantasies is fucking some girl who could never get me – really make her day. You know? Anyone have that? Or is that just weird? It’s like a good deed. “here you go, luv” … haha.

Well my friend’s friend started talking to her and I just let him have her… she number closed him. Ha! I see how it is… then she was after me when I left… tells me she exchange numbers with buddies so we can all keep in touch etc. I gave her a big hug – then she planted one on my mouth! Arrgghh. I tell her she’s naughty, spank her bum and run off.

I just couldn’t do it. But I wanted to. What the hell is going on??

Anyways I’m meeting the hb white from last Friday in st. pete tonight, then there’a a party. I probably won’t make it to the fuckin bars tonight either. God dam it. Maybe I’ll force myself. This chick is smoking hot I’m meeting and she’s staying in a hotel!! This should go down….

Finished the blueprint

Finally finally finally I finished the blueprint. Jesus! I started watching it a year ago! Haha… it was pretty good. Had some good stuff in it. A lot of “self help” stuff and some Eckhart tolle and shit. They’ve taken concept that have been around for a long time and just applied them to pickup. Some of it was tyler’s authentic epiphanies and concepts which tied in with stuff that’s already out there. I’d say it’s worthwhile to go thru the blueprint. I realize I still have work to do loosing my ego….. it got me thinking why I post. Honestly there are a couple of reasons. I like getting my thoughts on paper – I can more clearly process information and it makes myself realize things and vent, etc. partially I like sharing and helping other people. I’ve learned so much and come up with so much good stuff of my own – if it can get other guys laid that’s awesome. But I must confess partially I like the attention, the kudos. The “yea man, you’re awesome!” … but it’s less and less about that. It’s more about just learning and sharing and offering value. It really makes me fell good to help other people. It feels good when that’s appreciated but…. I wouldn’t sit here plowing all of my thoughts into this computer just for some internet nerd so comment on my blog “ya man you rock! I love you!” or whatever. Anyways it’s interesting to think about.

Ps. Please write me your supportive comments. Me ego is growing small and needs to be fed by you internet nerds. Thanks. :P

(needyness – lost it after sleeping with girl, no more!)

Just wanted to write down something that occurred to me the other day. My level of needyness has dropped off completely, or to say the least is at a minimul level. Like before having sex with a girl was just a big deal, I’d wanna like stay around her and got all emotional and shit. Well I can say in this period, where I am entering true sexual abundance (e.g – fucking loads of different girls) those needy feelings are all but gone

I’d say if I was at 90% needyness now I’m at about 10% - 15%

I suppose it differs with each girl. Like I can imagine if I hook up with a smoking hot girl who I like a lot, I’d feel it more. But overall it’s a huge difference. I just know there will be another girl, and another, and another

Another thing I’ve noticed is, I’m started to actually believe, on a deep level, that girls want sex. Like before, I’d feel that I was taking value when trying to sleep with a girl. Like I was after something. But now, I’m (not just conceptually understanding) but really truly feeling, that

a) sex is a normal thing that happens between 2 people

and

b) sex is an exchange of value.

Girls really really enjoy sex. They just wanna get laid. I can fully grasp this now. It’s hard to see that when you can’t get it and you’re sexually frustrated. But now, it’s so simple.

Again – and it’s a point I keep repeating because I want to hammer it across to anybody out there bored enough to be readying this :P that all these realizations come from experience. You can be told a billion times “girls like sex” or “don’t be needy” but it don’t mean shit till you get the real life experience to understand

It’s funny now when I’m in “sex abundance” I realize there are different levels of abundance

There was a point where I would have liked to have thought I had abundance – but I didn’t really. I had, like, approach abundance. I was talking to lots of girls. Then I had phone number abundance. Then I kinda of had sex abundance - Well, I had 2 or 3 Fb’s in London. But they weren’t really hot and I couldn’t get new girls that easily

Then again, if I look back in 6 months to where I’m at now I’ll think it wasn’t a bid deal. So I guess we’re always progressing. Maybe in a year I’ll have 2 bisexual girlfriends I’m always having 3-somes with and I’ll scoff and how I used to have “normal sex” hehe. Who knows??

Anyways when I actually think where I was when I started posting and got heavily into game (in sept 2007) holy shit it’s a loooooooooong way

I’m actually at an interesting point right now. I believe (I’m gonna count this when the internet comes on) I’ve been with 21 girls since that month. But at age 28 when I started posting I’d had 22. so I’ve doubled my lay count in rougly a year and a half. So age 17-28 (rougly ten years) I’ve had those amount of lays in 1.5 years. That’s an increase of over 6 times the lay rate!! OMFG!! And I can tell you my lay rate now is 3 times what is was a year ago….. anyways I think the next girl I lay will have officially doubled me. But I’ll check this in a moment.

About April 9 (written april 10^th)

So yesterday (thur) I ran around during the afternoon and did a few sets. Wasn’t like on purpose, me and the Russian speaking American went out to get food… but these 2 girls in this coffee shop were totally checking me out and giggling so… they were asking for it! We spoke to them for a bit, they were both called “Masha!” .. heh… I make some joke like I only hang around people called Sasha so we’re on the same page. Heh. Got her number. She was kinda cute, with a (can you guess?) hot body. Again probably not hot enough to call, plus lives with parents so logistics bad. We’ll see. On the way back I popped into this other coffee shop. There’s a really hot girl sitting with this not hot girl. I open them asking if they’ve seen a tall, bald American guy. (he’s not bald, but had at this point gone off to meet some girl he’s met before) – they say no. then I tell them they are such a cute couple, etc. they of course object. It’s the non hottie’s birthday! I build tension pretenting I’m gonna sing her happy birthday. Then when they think I’m not gonna do it, I loudly proceed to sing her happy birthday. And the part where I say her name I whisper to the hottie (what’s her name?) and then fill in Katya. The whole place went silent. Nobody joined in. wooo. I love social ackwardness. Haha! Well the birthday girl and her friend clapped and cheered after so it was all good. Normal conversation resumed. Anyways I join them and shoot the shit with them for a while. The birthday girl is married, and the hottie is engaged and has a kid. Shit!! She’s 27. she looks goooooooooood. I joke around with them for a bit. They didn’t like the cheese cake they’d ordered and told me to have it so I ate up most of it. Mmmm free cheesecake! It’s gonne be a good day! Eventually I split.

Walking back the girl I # closed is still there so I go back in and hang with masha and masha. They are both loving me and I tell my target to call me when them two are done to get coffee. She nods her head but I can tell she’s not gonna do it, and she doesn’t. boo.

After that it got late as I was waiting to hear from this dude I was gonna stay with etc … by the time I got to him it was 1am and I was tired so I didn’t end up going out, tho I wanted to. Fuck.

Anyways I’m meeting 2 girls today, one at 3.45 and one after her work (ends at 6) … then clubbing. Wahooooooooo