Friday 18 January 2008

Jan 16th she wanted to fuck but i didn't do it!

Jan 16th

Sarged like a mofo in the day. 3 numbers, some facebooks. Nothing magical, just working on qualifications. Having a laugh and # closing. Seeing one girl either Friday or Monday, texting the other though she’s dating 2 guys already (told her I was way more fun than them and she should drop me a line if she’s ever around my area) and the third one, I can’t remember her name but I’ll look for it and drop her a line. Had some heavy attraction with somegirls that had bf’s … this one in particular LOVED me … just gave her my card

I think I should try get #’s for really cool girls even if they have bf’s. just to have them around, really, even without any kind of intentions. If they’re hot and cool, don’t I want them around? Am realizing that qualifications are more powerful if they are genuine and represent/weed out what you are actually looking for. Also, honesty works. Just read seb + deeboy’s report with the underwear models (go read it if you haven’t!!) and it made me realize that we should not be hiding our intentions with women. We should be more open about them. I mean hell, if I can walk up to a woman and say “damn you are fine. You are too hot to be out here, you’re going to causing accidents and shit” why can’t I be honest for the rest of the interaction? why can’t I say “ok I respect you have a boyfriend, but you are cool and I think I’d like having you in my life, and you’d enjoy having me in yours. So let’s make the effort to see each other again… even if it’s just as friends” … isn’t that a fucking huge compliment? It is. And I’m going to say that next time I’m talking to some awesome girl who’s into me who happens to have a boyfriend at that time in her life. So what? Who cares? I never go for girls with BF’s but… if I meet one that’s truly amazing and she’d be happier with me, maybe It’s morally wrong not to pursue it? Ooh I’m getting into dark territory… I don’t know… I’m just getting tired of letting the really cool ones go (they always have boyfriends!!)

Anyways remember the hb9 walking thru leisester square I insta dated on Monday? Well we met up just for half an hour on wed and the chat was quite sexual. She said “I didn’t see you as a sexual being the other day but I am now” …

During our install date she just said that she really liked me and I was fun, etc…

We were huggy and stuff after the 30 min date but she’d do like a freeze out on me if I did something too… touchy…. So I’d freeze her out back, then she’d wanna hug again. It was weird.

It gets weirder…

Later on, after I’d done my gig, at 12:46 am I get the text “how was the showw” but I’m talking to my mate on the phone… then I get “let me know when you’re done with performance,”

I text back yea cool, did u get your studying done etc

She sends back “working is doing my head in so im chilling in my room. If we cldn have bought done. Dvds to watch, I need a break from workkk”

Which doesn’t make a whole load of sense, tho I suspect she wants to watch a film with me? As I’m replying “what!?” she calls me and asks me to come round to her to watch a movie. I explain I’ve just got home and she shoulda asked me an hour ago! I said she can come over to mine if she wants and she starts qualifying…

“Do you have a nice laptop?”

“do you have any good dvd’s?

“Is your place messy?”

I’m like “uhh it’s not too bad I guess. I can’t believe you’re asking how good my laptop is… weirdo…. Shaddap and get in a cab”

Next time I’ll say “bitch, it’s a crap laptop, the movies suck and I live in a shithole- you coming or what?

She comes over. We talk and this girl has issssssssues. She is so gaming me it’s not even funny. She doesn’t believe anything I tell her asks me how many girls I have been with , and tell her - and she doesn’t believe it. She freaks and calls me a liar. I’m like “no I’m not lying, I haven’t banged millions of girls…” Asks me last time I had sex. Basically she suspects I’m a player… at one point I’m cuddling her a lot, kiss her neck she says “so what movie we gonna watch?” … so again another freeze out lol

I start fiddling with my laptop going thru options, but we go back to talking and cuddling. LMR she had was classic. It was like we knew why she was there but it was like token resistance/lmr combined. At first, I could lick and kiss her body/breast but she shirt wouldn’t come off for a long time. Eventually it came off. Some resistance to panties/trousers coming off…fingered her with them on eventually they came off. Fingered her, she came. Tried sebastians squirt move but she didn’t like it. Maybe I did it wrong. Some of the shit she was saying the whole time was

“I should go home”

“I can’t believe I’m doing this”

“what are we doing?”

after fingering her she was so horny she said “fuck my brains out!”

and like 2 mins after “I should go”

and there were so many shit test it was unreal. Actually I’m realizing that LMR is a shit test, isn’t it??

I was saying dirty stuff to her, but I’d bait her first so that if she didn’t like it, it would be her fault… so I’d be like

“hey i…. nothing…” and she’s say “what, what is it? …. “no I shouldn’t say it forget it”… and she’d be all like “no, it’s ok, come on”

“Well, I was just thinking, I would like to pour honey all over you all lick it off…all the way down…” and she went berserk, like grindin’ up against me and shit

anywho what it boils down to is this. I didn’t want to fuck her. She was nuts/needy/boring. No semblance of personality. I wouldn’t do her without a condom cuz I hardly know her, spend like 2 hours with her only - and I don’t think I could have bothered fucking her with one.

She texted me last night as well and tried to get me over there but I was too tired. I guess I should do it, just for you guys hehe but I really don’t care. I am seeing much cooler girls over the weekend.. also I don’t wanna mess this girl up any more.

Now I’m starting to realize that … well I’m going to have to be more picky – being hot is not enough!! I mean I normally am, then I started doing this and I feel like I should just have to lay every hot girl but fuck that. I may not do it. But I might. I can’t decide

Maybe if I frame it like “hey I don’t want a GF etc, so I don’t want u to get the wrong idea, etc….” … I’ll start reading the relationship section heheh

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