I'm farty

So i've been working out at the gym for a while now. I feel great, but I haven't been getting much bigger.... (although my original goal was to loose the belly fat/strengthen my back)

Anyways, turns out I haven't been eating enough/getting enough protein

So now i'm using protein powders and stuff, eating loads of protein bars, etc

AND I CAN'T STOP FARTING. ALL THE TIME

I can't even bring a girl back to my house, it just reeks of farts

This has got to be the SICKEST irony

go to gym to get buff and attract more girls

but the powder i'm taking to help me get in shape to meet more girls makes stinky farts ... THAT REPELS GIRLS

I literally have to clenches my ass the whole time a girl is around. I'm scared to let a girl go down on me...

Can you imagine? Sitting around with my finger up my ass is hardly a "mood enhancer" ...

God is a fuckin comedian